“We always suspected our dogs were secretly planning something, but we never thought it would be something so troubling. This study is a real wake-up call for all dog owners out there. Your furry friend may seem happy and carefree, but deep down, they’re plotting their own demise.”

Dr. Bark, a renowned canine behaviorist

GRESHAM, OR — According to a study, which surveyed over 1,000 dogs across the country, the vast majority of dogs spend their free time thinking about ways to plan their downfall. The findings were shocking and unexpected, given that dogs are widely considered to be happy-go-lucky creatures.

Signs Your Dog is Plotting Their Own Demise

If you think your dog may be plotting their own demise here are some of the warning signs to look for:

• Refusing to eat their favorite treats
• Spending long hours staring blankly into space
• Lying on their back with their paws in the air, seemingly waiting for the end to come
• Constantly trying to jump off the bed or couch

What Could be the Reasons for This?

While the exact reasons why dogs are plotting their own demise are unclear, Dr. Bark has a few theories:

• Dogs may feel overwhelmed by the pressures of modern life, such as social media and the 24-hour news cycle.
• Dogs may be feeling a sense of existential dread, wondering what their purpose is in the world.
• Dogs may simply be tired of all the belly rubs and attention, and are ready to move on to the next stage of their lives.

What Can You Do to Help Your Dog?

If you suspect that your dog may be trying to sabotage themselves, there are a few things you can do to help:

• Spend more quality time with your dog, and give them plenty of love and attention.
• Make sure your dog is getting enough exercise and mental stimulation.
• Consider taking your dog to see a therapist who specializes in pet psychology.

The results of this study have been both alarming and intriguing. While it’s unclear why dogs are plotting their own demise, one thing is clear: we need to pay more attention to our furry friends and make sure they’re living happy and fulfilling lives.