“Every morning, he demands a tribute of bacon and belly rubs. It’s getting out of hand.” Owner of the self-proclaimed deity, Mr. Sausage WEST VALLEY CITY, UT — In an…
Area Dogs Regret Voting for Mailman in Recent Mayoral Election
“I thought he was a ‘shoe-in’. He always brings treats and scratches behind my ears, but I guess I didn’t think it through.”
Local Dog Caught Running Underground Gambling Ring, Offers Bone Bets
The dog, identified only as “Rufus”, has been luring in unsuspecting canines with promises of easy wins and tasty treats.
Scientists Discover Dogs Have Been Hiding a Third Eye
“It’s almost like they’ve been keeping a secret from us all this time.” Dr. Jane Smith, lead researcher BERKLEY, CA — In a shocking discovery, scientists have found that dogs…
Dog Park Closed for Fumigation After Outbreak of Canine-Transmitted Insanity
“It’s not safe out here, man. You don’t know what kind of madness is lurking around the corner.” 2-year-old Border Collie, Sparky SAVANNAH, GA – In a shocking turn of…
Local Dog Refuses to Participate in Owner’s TikTok Dance Videos, Cites “Lack of Artistic Integrity”
“He just sits there and stares at me while I’m trying to film,” said Buddy’s owner, Sarah Johnson. “I thought he’d be a natural on camera, but I guess he…
Study Finds Dogs Can Communicate with Aliens, But Choose Not To
We always suspected our dogs were hiding something from us, and now we know what it is. Lead Researcher OMAHA, NE – In a shocking discovery, a new study has…
You Can’t Prove That Your Dog Isn’t the Reincarnation of Hitler
BELFAST— In recent news, local dog owners have come forward claiming that their beloved pets may in fact be the reincarnation of the infamous Nazi dictator. While many may scoff…