“It’s not safe out here, man. You don’t know what kind of madness is lurking around the corner.”

2-year-old Border Collie, Sparky

SAVANNAH, GA – In a shocking turn of events, the local dog park has been closed for fumigation after an outbreak of canine-transmitted insanity. Reports indicate that several dogs have been exhibiting bizarre and erratic behavior, leaving many pet owners concerned for the safety of their furry friends.

Canine Insanity

Witnesses have described dogs acting erratically and exhibiting bizarre behaviors such as chasing their own tails for hours on end and refusing to obey commands from their owners. Many local vets have reported an increase in dog-related appointments for behavioral issues.

Eyewitness Reports

Other local dog owners who witnessed the outbreak first-hand have shared accounts of what they saw:

• Dogs began exhibiting erratic behavior such as speaking in tongues, and performing strange rituals like eating grass and vomiting it back up
• Several dogs were seen running at full speed (but not chasing anything), and chasing their own tails for hours on end
• Owners reported that their dogs were no longer interested in playing fetch or going for walks, and instead spent hours staring off into space — most likely, plotting world domination

Is Your Dog Safe?

As a dog owner, it’s important to be vigilant and watch for any signs of canine-transmitted insanity in your pet. If you notice any unusual behavior, such as barking at imaginary objects or howling at the moon, contact your veterinarian immediately.